Park Laments Parte Duex

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Many a digger, builder, groomer, and park staff have a small, playful bone to pick with all you public :p

The snow has started to grace our slopes and that means time to start building! Lucky for you all, we won’t be busting out the 60' kickers, 30’+ rails, and other advanced features just yet. Soon enough you can happily wreck yourself on that shtufft, but for now you’ll be sticking to 10’-20' kickers, flatbars and boxes, nearly flush with the slope. If you eat it, that just means you weren’t ready for massive features y’all pine (obnoxiously) for, so get up, dry your eyes, and do it again, but different.

Beginner parks are really the only place you should be starting, no matter your level, at the start of each season. What better time to stomp out those skills than when there is no snow, no pow, and gapers abound?

Start small, build those skills! Make a plan, ride through the park, check out the features everyday so you know what’s there, what changed, and if you have the right wax (don’t beach to the park crew about the run being too slow or too fast, if you do you get a complimentary brazillian then and there). Always look, because if you don’t you just may be playin’ Mr. Guillotine on some fool smokin’ a bowl in the landing and blood is hard to cover (you’ll basically sacrifice 2 or 3 of your precious mothalickin’ features to bury that body). Respect the features, the other riders; respect gets respect, being a douche gets your pass marked and fookin’ board beating by all the righteous riders. Take it easy, know your limits, so you land your feet like clever cat always does! S, M, A, R, T, what does that spell!? SMART, unless you’re a park punk and can’t read, in which case take your shilly, brand reppin’, GoProin’, punk ash back to your leader on whatever planet gapers and wannabes are spawned.

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